Sabkush Headlines: Is your partner a party pooper?

Sabkush Headlines: Is your partner a party pooper?Is your partner a party pooper?





Picture this. A school reunion is being planned. You are worried sick and not excited, as it’s one of those parties where everyone is supposed to come with their spouse! So is there a problem? Yes. A big one. You start thinking of excuses of why you would be missing from the do – ‘He got busy with a last minute meeting,’ ‘I had to urgently rush to my mom’s place,’ and many more. Well, the ‘problem’ is that the moment you suggest this outing to your partner, there will be a big row. Again. Why? Because he hates going to parties and get-togethers. The moment someone mentions ‘party’, excuses race through your mind. Shares HR manager Charu Sinha, “It is a vicious circle. I make new friends and if we get along well, I would like to go out with them. But that’s when, it all goes bust. Every time they ask us out for dinner, I come up with pathetic excuses.” And it gets worse during the party season when all the people you know are partying together, while you and your partner sit at home and watch his favourite movie or listen to nice music or just chit chat. “There is nothing wrong with my partner. He’s the best guy I could have asked for, but our social quotients just don’t match. I can’t say ‘No’ every time,” says writer Smriti Kalra. The situation can be embarrassing too. “My friends threw a surprise birthday party for me at a small restaurant. And one of them called up my wife and asked her to join too. But as expected she didn’t turn up. They kept on calling her and she gave this lame excuse of a splitting headache. I was embarrassed. We didn’t talk for a week after that,” says Mohit Chawla. He goes on to add, “Instead of feeling ashamed, she had the guts to tell me that I should have told my colleagues that she doesn’t like socialising.” Relationship expert Sameer Chopra says, “Initially couples argue, but then the spouse will start going alone. Ultimately it will become like a habit and one partner will create a life away from their partner, which is not good for any relationship.” Alternatively you can request him to be with you for only a few special occasions when you ‘need’ to be a twosome. You may have to cut down on your outings as well, but then you have to think what is more vital – the outing or your partner. Such people value professional relationships, but prefer to keep it separate from their personal life. Says Preeti Kapur (name changed), “I see my colleagues everyday, so why would I want to hang out with them after that? I don’t see any logic.” The introverted partner needs to care for his/ her spouse feelings and make an effort sometimes. There are far too many things in life which we may not like, but we have to attend to them smilingly. A selfish attitude is not likely to take one too far and the faster both the parties concerned understand this, the better it will be for the